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Committed & Independent: Mastering the Art of Love While Preserving the “Self”

If a healthy girl means she is happy, confident and independent, then can a healthy girl also be totally head over heels in love without risking losing herself in a relationship?Ab-so-lute-ly! Totally possible and that is what I like to call a healthy relationship.

A healthy relationship is where two people can share their love and life but at the same time have a life of their own. A girl doesn’t have to be single to feel independent. She can have a wonderful relationship without losing herself in the process.

It can be easy to change yourself for someone else to feel “more” loved. I’ve been there: like that time in school where we tried to fit in by changing the way we dressed or when we pretended to like a sports team or band only because it was what your crush liked. Although it may have given you what you wanted at the time, I guarantee that living a life ruled by someone else’s standards will not give you long-term fulfillment. Finerminds, lists detachment from other people’s expectations as a key factor you should give up in order to be happy.

You may be wondering… how can I keep my true self from disappearing in this bond of compromise called a relationship? The answer is to find individual interests, in other words: a hobby!

Hobbies are a perfect way to achieve independence outside of a relationship. It’s a time when you can enjoy something that you like and spend time apart from your loved one. It’s a reflection of yourself and what makes you, well…YOU. When you’re happy, everything else seems to flow easily, including your love life.

It’s often encouraged to spend time on your own when in love. It can help you feel confident and discover what makes you happy. Fox News listed ten positive habits, and trying new hobbies alone was listed as number one. The article explains that engaging in new and exciting activities, that complement your interests, can boost your awareness of what makes you happy.

I’ve been with my boyfriend for almost six years now and although our relationship is not perfect, (no relationship is), I like to consider it a healthy one! We spend a lot of time together but we also spend time away from each other, enjoying our own hobbies. He gets a rush from outdoors adventures, such as camping and mountain biking, while I prefer a more relaxing time practicing yoga, indulging in a good book or lounging by the pool. We have found our healthy balance, where we spend time apart, fueling our personal interests. It makes the experiences we choose to share, even more special!

My healthy girl’s tip: Listen to Dr. Seuss when he said, “Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.”

Forget the idea that someone else has the power to make you happy. You are the only one who truly holds the power to do that. Trust that whoever is worth your attention and love will respect you for who you are and will appreciate you for what you love. If that is not the case, perhaps you haven’t quite met your match.

By: Estefania Romero // Image by: Felicia Malmstrom